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Scribble Drawing of the Day – Day 4

My Scribble Drawing for today is this one that to me, looks like a heart looking at its own reflection. IMG_6539

5 Words/Phrases: 

  1. Heart
  2. Love
  3. Reflection
  4. Look at yourself and see love/in love
  5. Look at yourself to see love reflected back at you

My reflection: 

This one has been a big challenge for me.  Self-love. I always felt lovey dovey stuff was cheesy, fluffy, silly. I wanted to avoid it.  I hated hearts and pinks and all that foofoo stuff.  Well, it has come to my attention in recent months that this was all because I was protecting myself. I didn’t like myself and I certainly didn’t love myself. I didn’t truly accept myself for who I am. I spent so many years wanting to be someone else, latching on to other people who might rescue me from me. I had no idea that is what I was doing but now I can see it all so clearly. Self-love is a really tough one for a lot of people.  There is no need to dwell on the why.  Just work on learning to do it. Love yourself! It doesn’t happen instantly and it doesn’t last forever.  It takes work. Whitney told us at the art retreat in Nashville that if we needed to work on self-love, paint hearts. I was like, ewwww blech hearts. Now….I will draw and paint hearts all over the place. I had a lot of old patterns to undo and drawing and painting hearts was part of how I undid them (along with a lot of work, a stress reduction program, meditation, painting, and emotional healing). I have days when I go back there but it gets easier to get out of that self-deprecating funk. If you can’t love you, why would anyone else? You are the one who is going to be stuck with you for the rest of your life. You better treat yourself well.
I had a bit of an aha moment when I attended my first fitness class in a long time.  I have been dealing with injury and structural problems with my feet, knees, hips, back etc for years now.  I have gotten to the point where I need to be active again within my limits and accept where I am.  Well, a friend invited me to the PIYO class she is teaching and it was in a room full if mirrors.  Instead of looking in horror, I looked at myself for the first time in a very long time.  I truly saw my figure, how my body has changed in the years of my sedentary recovering lifestyle. I looked at myself without criticism. I noticed the change in my build from what I thought it was but I also noticed how well-coordinated I was for someone who had not really worked out much in years besides going to physical therapy or doing a workout and ending up injured and having to stop. I had good form, I kept up with most steps, my body kept up as best as it could. I didn’t look at myself and complain about my looks or criticize how I looked or how I did things. I looked at myself with love and told myself what I was doing right. I looked at my body and said, okay, THAT is what I look like, that is what I am working with. I can do this. I just accepted it and I was totally okay with it for the first time…ever.

For more info on Scribble Drawings, please read Scribble Drawing of the Day – Day 1

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